You know you're either pregnant or just need to lay off the donuts if...

1. Your stomach sits on your thighs when you're seated...
2. You can use your belly as a table for any, all, but definitely not limited to the following: remote control, drink, food, arm rest, catch all for spills, etc, etc...
3. You can no longer see "yourself" when you look down...
4. Your boobs, belly and thighs have almost become one piece...
5. People stare, then ask in horror, "when are you due!?" You say, "six weeks". They say, "OH MY GOSH, it looks like that baby is going to fall out!"... (yes, a guy really said this to me, then his girlfriend slapped him. No lie.)
Note: there will be an alternate ending if you aren't pregnant...
6. Your belly button is now an "outtie" and not an "innie"...
7. You've developed strange red marks (in places I'd rather not say, but they aren't on your belly) and you ask you husband "what the heck is this!!?" and he says, "I think those are stretch marks"...
Note: not everyone is "fat" that has stretch marks!!! They are a doozie and can strike anyone at anytime.
8. Your back constantly aches b/c of the excess 30+ pounds you've managed to pack on in a matter of about 8 months...
9. You know you're fat or pregnant and you don't care b/c you are STILL going to Value Size it at McDonald's dammit! Heck yes!
10. You've sectioned off your closet of things that you can wear b/c you've gone there too many times and tried on too many things that didn't work, so it was easier to just put the things that do work in their own section...
11. You may or may not begin to waddle...
12. You cannot sleep on your stomach!!!!!!!
13. You can't hop up off the floor like you used to, you have to roll to one side, get your knees and legs under you, grab onto something stable, and pull yourself up off the floor...
14. Your belly hangs out from the bottom of your husbands size LARGE shirt...
15. You see pictures (or a reflection) of yourself and still cannot believe how strange your body now looks...
Note: this can happen to anyone, whether you are not even pregnant or fat.
16. You weigh almost as much as your husband (or at least it seems like it)...
Note: Some husbands are tiny, so this isn't accurate for all cases.
17. You sit on the couch and eat a pint of Blue Bell Moo-llinium Crunch ice cream in a matter of minutes and don't even think twice about it- actually you laugh when you are finished...
18. You get up from a table and realize how close everyone's chairs are... you try to "suck in" to pass by so your belly doesn't hit the guy in the back of the head, yet that doesn't seem to work...
19. You drop something on the floor while sitting in a chair and you have to physically get out of the chair, squat down (holding onto something stable) then pick it up- all b/c your stomach is too big to bend at the waist...



I could go on and on... Hopefully I didn't offend anyone, I've just barfed 2 times today and I am almost 35 weeks pregnant, so I need a little humor in my day. If anyone would like to pay me to do a public service announcement of how "morning sickness" never ends and there is NO cure to it, let me know... I'm your girl.

Photos...

Just in case she ever tries to sue me for using her wonderful pictures (just kidding), I need to thank Janelle for taking ALL of the great shower pictures that you see below!!! Thank you Janelle for capturing so many wonderful moments for us to look back at and enjoy!

It's a Green Theme!

Some wonderful friends and family in Cisco thew me one heck of a shower. Gee people! It was awesome! Great friends, great food, great gifts, great fun.... Again, saying we are "blessed" is an understatement. We had wonderful yummy green foods: white chocolate covered green grapes, cheesecake w/ kiwi on top, the best in the world spinach artichoke dip, thumbprints, petifores, mini sandwiches, green sherbet punch... oh so good!!!

We are FULLY, and I mean FULLY covered... we got our stroller, mattress, changing pad, blankets, towels, clothes, books, diapers, wipes, bath items, etc, etc, etc... I keep saying if there happens to be 2 babies in there, we are prepared! We got so much stuff that my great in-laws are having to bring a load!

Cannot thank all of our friends and family enough for sharing in our excitement for the upcoming arrival of our sweet little boy. It means a lot to us that everyone is just as excited as we are to meet Baby J! We can't wait to share is name... well maybe we can! Ha! Sorry everyone... hopefully no more than 6 weeks! *This picture is terrible of me, however, it's pretty funny of Aunt Sharon- she looks terrified of my belly! haha....

Crazy women of Cisco...

My wonderful mother-in-law beat me down this weekend for not mentioning that 7 of them made a long 5.5 hour drive from Cisco (and one from Lubbock) to Roswell for my shower.

My only excuse for not mentioning this wonderful group is "pregnancy brain"! I'm SO sorry. Don't hate me. I loved you ALL being there and it did mean a LOT to me that you came... Thank you sweet (most of the time) mother-in-law Sheila, Aunt Sharon, Aunt Shelly, Marcia, Judy, Janelle & Pattie for being a wonderful addition to my shower! Love you all!

It's a BabyQ!

Some sweet friends of mine and my mom's threw me one heck of a baby shower in Roswell on 10.3.09. The theme was a "BabyQ" so we had baby back ribs, green chile chicken, shrimp, cheddar biscuits, tea, lemonade, cake... It was amazing to say the least. Talk about people "showering" us with gifts. Wow. There's a lot of people that seem to love us for some reason. I had a couple surprises: two of my co-workers from Lubbock drove in for the shower and surprised me and my cousin Jen and her husband Brad also showed up. I was completely taken off guard and was not expecting that. It was awesome and it meant the world to me that they came. The shower was held in my mom's great friend, Nita's backyard. What a pretty backyard she has. It was the perfect setting. It rained all morning that day, so we were worried that it would rain at the shower (which was at 5pm). BUT, the weather was P-E-R-F-E-C-T. The air was cool and there was a slight breeze... perfect weather for my mom. She was able to stay basically the entire shower and watched me open every single gift. As you will see in some of my pictures, my dad, brother, cousin and grandfather were all present at the shower. Yes, I know, showers aren't for boys, but I wanted them there with me. I loved having them there. I wish my sweet, hardworking husband was there, but has been working on wrapping up his education at UT.

We absolutely cannot wait for our baby boy to be here. We are ridiculously excited and look forward to his safe arrival. We are SO completely blessed by our friends and family, that "thank you" will never be enough. This baby boy doesn't have a clue how many people love him and cannot wait to meet him... and know his name of course! 7 more weeks...

We are off Cisco this weekend for yet another wonderful shower. Pictures of that madness to come...